Soo,, this is going to be my first blog post. I’ve been thinking all day about what Im going to write in here. I don’t really have trouble writing once i get started but its the start, that initial push that needs to get me going.
Luckily for me, this is personal, ONLY FOR ME!! and also my peeps from A4.that takes away the pressure to be great at this or think of something clever too write.
perhaps this is too meta?
Derek thought i might have trouble with this. I can see why, but I actually immensely enjoy writing. it’s so gratifying, and i can edit it! you cant edit speaking to someone with your voice, thats locked along time. this on the other hand i can spruce up until i think it fine.
I love how you can see it all, see all the connections you make, its all there. I can look up and see what i read above. a written work exists outside of time. well not necessarily. but its a similar experience i have to something like Avatar: The last Airbender(sorry for the references but this is how i internally think and link stuff, especially with pieces of Narrative, perhaps ill go into my fascination of the Narrative). that is a show i’ve watched a billion times; but even if didn’t theres a qualitative difference to rewatching or rereading something once you have all the context already (tangent thought: this website is so pleasant to write in, font+background?).
You see new things, understand new things, make new connections. Its how my experience of characters like Katara and Zuko in the first season feels off. I’m someone who has seen them grow the arc they grow through a bajillion times. they have stopped being people from a single point in time. I perceive them as the 4-D snake that they are since i can see them whole, and each moment as part of that whole rather than just that moment on its own. I, like many, wish i could erase my memories of the show and rewatch it, because i want to observe my mind, and what it sees and compare it… well damnit.
I didn’t know id like writing. even though i did A TONNN of it. i spent a lotta time on reddit, and i’ve made some monster comments. I just love alliteration btw. I didn’t realize that i was writing so much until last year when it hit me. when i heard and understood what journaling does, in how it is relaxing cause you take stuff from mind and put on paper, because i was able to relate it to the joyful and relaxed feeling of me posting a reddit comment explaining to the dumbf*cks, in meticulous detail, how they are thinking of League of Legends all wrong, smh.
it’s easy for me to write a long speil as a reply to someone. I rarely ever made original posts of writing on reddit, not even comments replying to posts. 99% of the time, i replied to other comments and thats where i started to want to blog.
cause blogs are personal, like an open journal. i like making people listen to a crazy thought i had. and its less toxic since its not built on top of trying to make someone be wrong. and obscure, so only people who really wanna read will stick around.
I wont edit this one though, its too long, went a bit overboard teehee. and I wanna experiment being vulnerable.
Thank you for reading this far if you did so.
